Contra Fighter

Be Safe, Be Vigilant, Be Alert

Do They Listen?

Now for something a lighter.

Have you ever wondered if your better half actually listens to anything you say?  Have you ever been told by your better half that “you don’t talk to me.?”  Has your response been, “You don’t listen to me when I do talk to you.?”  Well I have had this conversation numerous times with my queen.

Tonight, I finally decided to lay the trap and spring it.  While we were relaxing after dinner tonight, the queen was watching her scripted dramas on Bravo.  You know the Real Housewives of _______ (fill in the blank of your favorite drama queen show).  So while she was engrossed in the program, I was online doing the monthly bills, checking the bank accounts, getting the annual property tax bill ready for mailing tomorrow, I asked her take care of the tax paperwork and put the receipts and such in a safe place.  She didn’t even blink, shift in her seat.  Nothing to indicate she had heard me.  I watched her for 2 minutes.  Never even looked over at me.  But she did pick up her glass of sweet tea and guzzle from it, put it back on the table.  Never even noticed I was watching her.  Went right on engrossed in whatever faux drama was unfolding on her hi def television. 

Waited a few more minutes, then waved my hand in the air.  Bear in mind she is less than 6’ from me.  I am sitting to her right front at her 2 o’clock position.  Again, nothing.  No response.  Her eyes intently focused on the non sense playing out on the tube. 

Again I sit there watching her for about 2 more minutes.  Staring at her, like a deer in the headlights.  Nothing.  No response.  I thought maybe she went into a food coma or something.  Nope she is awake.  I sat there and watched her glare bore into the drama unfolding before her on Bravo.  Even engrossed in the commercials. 

Now I am starting to wonder if I am more uninteresting than I thought.  I knew I was, but this was starting to get disconcerting to my ego. 

So then it hits me.  So I think to myself “ say something outrageous and out loud.”  “Briiliant !!” I think to myself.  But what to say.  Then it hits me.  So again I stare at her like the deer.  Then I wait for a break in the drama, there it is, pull the trigger on this stupid statement….. “You know I was thinking about having a sex change operation.”

There it is the words hanging on the air.  Nothing.  Just keeps watching those screaming squirrels on Bravo.  I then just go about finishing our family business.

Half an hour later she gets up from the couch, and heads down the hallway to perform an unknown task.  I get up from my seat, and follow her.  I asked if she liked her episode of The Screaming Squirrels?  She says, “They’re alright.”  “Uh-huh” I say. “Did you hear me say anything to you?”  “ She goes about her business, and replies, “I thought you said something, but I really didn’t hear you.”  “Really?” I say.  “What do you think you heard?”  She says “I don’t know.”  I tell her “I know for a fact you don’t listen, I told you I was thinking about getting a sex change operation, and you just sat there, comatose.”  She laughs at me.  Or maybe she is laughing at herself.  On second thought, No, she is laughing at me. 

Well at least I got the satisfaction of proving to her she doesn’t listen or hear me. Now this presents a new dilemma, damn it!!!!

Why doesn’t she listen or hear me?  Well when I find the answer to that question, I will let you all know.  Until that time……

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